Cold Reading

"A sucker is born every minute."
-P.T. Barnum

A friend sent me a link to a personality test recently. I enjoy these tests, but obviously the conclusions need to be taken with a grain of salt: they don't say ANYTHING. I'm constantly amazed by people who believe the conclusions are insightful. Perhaps they do not understand the art of cold reading. The "results" of these tests are designed to be vague and contradictory, so they capture the full range of emotions in a single reading. Simply put, they HAVE to be right about something. Some common cold reading techniques as identified by Ian Rowland:

1. Rainbow Ruse: A statement that credits the subject with the same and the opposite trait at the same time ("You are normally shy and reserved unless you are confronted with an important issue in your life and then you become strong and opinionated")
   
2. Barnum Statement: A statement that identifies a particular personality trait, but applies to everyone (""You are sometimes insecure, especially with people you don't know very well")
3. Jacques Statement: A statement made that makes a prediction based on the age of the subject (for someone in high school or in the early stages of their career: "You wonder whether you are socially accepted by your peers")
   
4. Fuzzy Fact: A statement about a fact so general, it can be tailored into any prediction based on the reaction of the subject ("You have a strong connection to travel, which means that you like to escape from the cold or warm climates of your home to some place more fitting your personality.")
   
5. Fine Flattery: A statement that is so complimentary and positive, no one would ever deny having that habit ("You are sometimes too honest with your feelings.")
   
6. Greener Grass Technique: A statement designed as a means to improve a characteristic that can always use improving ("You wish you could be a little more popular and at ease in your interpersonal relationships than you are now.")
7. Polyanna Pearls: A statement that predicts exactly what the subject wants to hear ("Despite a successive string of bad relationships, you will take the life lessons from those failures and apply them positively so that you will have a successful relationship soon.")
   
8. Sugar Lumps: A flattering statement designed to lower the intellectual defenses of the subject, thus allowing a more provocative prediction in the future ("You have a gift for language that makes you quite perceptive.")

There are quite a few more, but the first two are really the most important ones. I do think there is entertainment value in taking personality tests, making star charts and the like. But to pretend they actually say something meaningful....? That's a bit much.

For fun, here's a diagnosis from the Colorgenics personality test:

You are always alert and keenly observant. You are not truly satisfied with your everyday status and you are seeking fresh avenues which can give you the opportunity to prove your worth. You feel that there are still many barriers that stand between you and recognition - but one by one you will overcome them. Your tenacity is your one good point - like an English Bulldog, once you take the bite, you will seldom let go.

You are a very warm and emotional individual but unfortunately in the past too many people have taken advantage of this sensitive trait. You need aesthetic surroundings, or an equally sensitive and understanding partner with whom to share a warm understanding.

You are confined and trapped in a distressing or uncomfortable situation and seeking some way out. Whatever you seem to do to resolve the problem hasn't worked out. Fortunately you are able to gain some aspect of relief from someone close to you.

You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.

You are anxious about all the limitations to which you are subjected to at this time. You feel that you are not valued for what or who you are. You need OUT. So why procrastinate any longer - MOVE!

This "diagnosis" is chock full of good cold reading statements. Some of my favorite include:

• "Your tenacity is your one good point - like an English Bulldog, once you take the bite, you will seldom let go...You are a very warm and emotional individual but unfortunately in the past too many people have taken advantage of this sensitive trait." Classic Rainbow Ruse- I am simultaneously tenacious and sensitive.
• You are confined and trapped in a distressing or uncomfortable situation and seeking some way out. Whatever you seem to do to resolve the problem hasn't worked out. Great Barnum Statement- can you genuinely name an individual who isn't currently grappling with a problem? And of course, if I could resolve the issue, it wouldn't be a problem anymore.
• You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. Clever use of Fine Flattery- does someone not want to experience life?
  

Obviously, there are many more examples. Those just struck me as the best uses of the cold reading techniques. As with everything, these tests need to be taken with a grain of salt. But it does make me laugh when people take them and then admit, "Wow, that was pretty accurate." OF COURSE IT WAS!